Sunday 14 December 2008

A sign of things to come

Oh God today has been the worst.
This morning I tried to call mum, first the phone just rang and rang, so I left it a few minutes and tried again; she answered but then the phone went dead, then it was just ringing again. Finally I called my brothers mobile and mum answered. The house phone was playing up. Boy did it give me a fright. Anyway, I had a quick chat with mum, she said she didn't feel too good but fancied lamb chops for dinner. She's not eaten much at all in days now but I give her whatever she asks for in the hope that she eats a little.
I got there this afternoon and at first she was quite lucid. She asked me to change her underwear so I did and the effort seemed to really take it out of her. I then went into the kitchen to put on her chops and when I got back she was fast asleep. I decided to let her sleep for a while at least until her food was ready.
An hour later I was panicking as I couldn't wake her up. Eventually I got her to open her eyes and speak to me, but she was really out of it. I kept trying for about 20 mins then my brother got back. He said she had been like that most of the day. We talked about her medication I figured it could be the anti-depressents she'd been prescribed. I told my brother not to let her have any more until we spoke to her dr. Then I came home.
An hour later my brother was on the phone, my older brother had visited and called an ambulance. I was so angry and upset. I mean, she is dying, she wants to die at home, no matter how ill she is what is the point of calling an ambulance. She would never forgive us if she were to end her days in hospital. At the very least she should be in a hospice instead. Anyway, I waited for a while then called back and begged, pleaded, screamed at them not to let her go to hospital. At the time the paramedic was there so they just said they'd let me know what he said.
What did he say? Well, he said it was the anti-depressents which were a form of tamazipan and were spacing her out. He said the effects would wear off in a couple of hours and we should talk to her gp before giving her any more. They didn't take her to hospital. Phew!
This is going to be even harder than I thought.

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