Saturday 28 November 2009

Decades

I was reading another blog the other day and for the first time I realised the importance of the approaching new decade. This other blogger was already making plans to mark the start of this new era and I've been thinking that I'd like to do something too, I've not thought of what yet though.
Why is it so important to me? Well, this last decade has been the worst of my life, and it started 1st January 2000. That's when my life as I knew it fell to pieces and what followed was 2 very miserable years. Everything I knew changed and my kids suffered too. I had a few close friends and family that were really there for me and for that I will always be grateful. Things did get a little better towards the middle of the decade but then I had the tragedy of losing my mum last year, and my brother this year (although it was only a week later.) So the decade began and ended badly and I really will be glad to see the back of it.

Of course it has not been all bad though. I met Graham (yes, I'm counting that as good) and we have had some really good times together. He helped to bring my kids around and make their lives happier too. Also, even though I suffered two years of thinking I would never have any more children I went on to have my two lovely girls. It doesn't seem right thinking they came along in the worst decade of my life, but you always have to have good with the bad, and they are my two shining lights in a decade of darkness.

Things have changed so much now and even though I'm still sad I know that the future can be brighter. I will endeavor to make the next decade the best ever. It's up to me really and I'm determined to do all the things I've always wanted to do but never had the opportunity. I'll never have my mum back but I have to move past that and know that she is at peace and I have to learn to live with my loss. She never wanted me to spend the rest of her life with me nursing her so I'm sure she wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life mourning her either. I need to stop being so selfish.

So what am I going to do to mark the next decade.....the best decade of my life?

No comments: