I went to the cemetery today, my two older kids came with me and Leila. The flowers I left last time looked like they were fresh, but on inspection they were completely frozen. I swapped them for new which will probably freeze too in this cold weather spell. I also took a cross wreath which was really pretty. Yes, I know I said I was going to make one, and I tried, but I just couldn't get it to look right so I gave up. Thinking about it, it was probably good enough, but I just through a wobbly and the wreath went flying up the garden. I'll blame the holly for now, that stuff is darned prickly.
My aunties had already been as there was already a wreath for my nan and a bunch of red roses for mum and dad. I'm sure there will be more when I go back next week. My plan is to go alone on Christmas eve and light four tea light candles. I think it's probably against the rules to light candles on a grave but I will only light them while I'm there and take them with me when I've said my piece. I just feel the need to mark the anniversary. It's been over a year now since I had my last 'proper' conversation with my mum. It still hurts.
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