Wednesday 26 May 2010

Where does the time go?

I'm now almost 30 weeks pregnant, how did that happen? I can't believe how quick it's gone, I'm expecting the last 10 weeks to drag by, but to be honest, I have a feeling this baby is going to make an early appearance. He keeps giving me little frights which are all logged on my pregnancy journal.

Well, mood wise, I'm still a bit of an emotional roller coaster. There is too much going on in my head to even think of what I'm actually feeling, it's no wonder I'm so confused. Most of the time though I'm just focusing on my lovely children and getting by, and of course I'm looking forward to meeting my little man, I just hope it's not too soon.

We went to the Baby Show at the weekend, it was a long and tiring day but it went well. I was shattered when we got back,  I sent Graham to the chip shop, watched Dr Who and went to bed with the girls.

Then on Monday I had to take my car (Vicky the V reg Vauxhall Vectra) for her MOT and lo and behold she passed!!! I'd already tapped my son for £300 and was praying it wouldn't cost any more. So for once I had reason to celebrate. And I rewarded Vicky with a good clean, that's the least she deserves. Who would have thought that my brother's last gift to me would keep going without any trouble for so long.

So that's my news for now. If I had decided to write this blog post this morning it probably would have turned out very different as I was in a foul mood, but right now I can hear my bed calling and the longing for sleep overpowers the mood swings.

Friday 14 May 2010

Slowly Bouncing Back

I'm still feeling pretty hormonal but I seem to be shifting that dark cloud that took over me last week.
I have a busy day today and already I'm feeling tired. I didn't get much sleep last night as Leila had an earache and kept waking up. I'm tiolet training her again at the mo. She was doing great before we went on holiday but it all went wrong while we were away. Firstly there was the train journey, I thought she would be ok as, although it was a long journey, there were tiolets. I took her to the toilet soon after the train started and she seemed quite happy to use it, then during the next two hours she wet herself twice and poo'd herself just 10 mins before we were due to get off. She got off the train in a nappy and a t-shirt. I was really stressed. Once in the caravan she showed interest in the tiolet but soon wet herself. So by the end of the second day I was fast running out of clothes for her so I bought some nappies. When we got back home things didn't get any better, she was point blank refusing to use the toilet. As I was already feeling down I left her for a week in nappies, but now we are starting again from scratch.

Yesterday I went and picked up a rocking crib for the new baby. It was bigger than I expected so we had to rearrange the bedroom. So now I have a constant reminder that there will soon be another family member.

Next week it's the Baby Show. I managed to get some free tickets and I've just got my Health in Pregnancy grant through, so it will be time to get the rest of the stuff for the baby. Although I'm thinking the pram/pushchair will have to wait a little longer.

Money is a big worry at the moment. Not only is Graham still out of work, but Cassie has now had her Jobseekers allowence suspended. They said she wasn't trying hard enough to find a job? She only sends off 3 to 5 job applications a week, what do they want her to do? I wish they would actually help her find a job, she does want to work so desperately, and I think it would do her good. Now she's stuck with no money and course fees of £135 per month to pay. I'm struggling to keep her for nothing, so there is no way I can afford her course fees as well. What a nightmare. Please everyone cross your fingers she gets a job soon.

BTW, she's only been claiming Jobseekers 3 months, she's not a scrounger.

Friday 7 May 2010

Big Dipper!

Well the last post was a roller coaster ride, now I'm on the big dipper and right in the dip.
The holiday was great, we had some lovely weather at the beginning of the week and stayed a few extra days despite the weather turning not so good. We had a really relaxing time and it was a real stress buster for me.
I haven't come home feeling relaxed though. I seem to be more stressed than ever and I'm not coping too well at all. Everything is just too much for me at the moment and with just over 13 weeks to go until Joseph's arrival I'm getting really panicky, when I believe I should be getting excited.
I'm sure I'll be on my way up again soon though, I have to be, I'm like a rubber ball, I keep bouncing back.