Monday 4 July 2011

The Quiet Birthday

Today would have been my little brother's birthday had he still been alive.
His death has affected me so much but I can't talk to anyone.
I didn't speak to him for 8 yrs prior to his death, apart from the last few weeks of his life while together we watched our mum deteriorate quickly into her demise.
He did some bad things, some would say unforgivable. But I can't hate him now he's gone. He wasn't all bad, just wired up wrong. It's sad that there is no real cure. So yes, even though he turned my life upside down and caused me and my family incredible amounts of distress, I can still find it in my heart to forgive him. I still feel pain that he died in such a horrid and lonely way. I still miss him.

I miss him as the child I grew up with, not the man he became.

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