Monday 19 September 2011

Truly the End

I don't think I should be writing this now, but here it is straight from the heart while it's breaking in two. I can't even bare to look at his face anymore.
Today I was ready to break and give in, I've missed him so much, crazy because things have been crap for a while and I should have been enjoying the break but I'm too bloody soft for my own good. He pleaded and begged for forgiveness, then he told me how crap it was staying at his mums and I thought, ah he's only doing this because he misses being at home. but he insisted that he wouldn't give in, he would prove to me how much he loved me and how sorry he was. Of course he kept pointing out that he didn't really do anything....no, hitting on my friend is nothing, doesn't hurt a bit, not even though you've done it in the past and swore you'd never do anything like it again. So we argued and suddenly it was all my fault because I wouldn't marry him!!! I was going to marry him until the first time he did it, that's when I thought it's best we didnt' get married just in case he did it again (and again) (and as I've just found out, again!)
So he goes away to give me a little peace and I spot that he's left his Facebook logged in so I nosey...well you have to don't you when you know he's been 'trying' to play away.
First I spot the messages to the 'last girl' the one he promised me he'd delete from his phone and FB and never ever speak to again....well he did... a couple of weeks ago, he was telling her how crap it was at home, how bored and fed up of me he was. He didn't DO anything wrong though!
Then I spotted a scantily clad lady so clicked on her....'hi, it's me from the 'naughty site' do you want some fun?' and oh boy did he want some fun, filthy disgusting talk persued (just a bit of fun) then she wanted him to log into her webcam but somehow he had a few problems and didn't make it....so he didn't DO anything wrong!

I think I'm well rid!
I think I'm heartbroken.
I feel such a fool.
I can't stop throwing up.
I HATE HIM

1 comment:

ppbear said...

huge hugs hun xx you are strong and things will get better xx hold your head up high in the playground as you have done nothing wrong xx

always around if you need a friendly ear xx

much love x