Thursday 26 January 2012

Ever had one of 'those' days?

my entire life is one of those days. Well it feels like it and I'm sick of it. I'm fed up of the moaning, complaining, arguing, the way everything is always my fault, I have to do everything for everyone and still it's not enough. It's my fault if anything goes wrong, it's my fault if appointments aren't made, or kept, it's my fault the kids are playing up, it's my fault the baby is crying, it's my fault when something breaks. It's my fault I'm fucking breathing!

OH how I wish I could get away, just me and the little ones. I would take them far away from here so we could get on with on lives and live the way I want us to. I wouldn't have to put up with the complaining or the lying. I wouldn't have to feel like I was trapped in a never ending spiral. Nothing ever gets better here, no matter how hard I try. I try to be understanding, I try to keep the peace, I put up with all sorts of shit, I keep my tongue well and firmly bitten almost all of the time. There are four adults in this house and three of them are driving this one fucking crazy.

I dont' want to tread on egg shells anymore. I don't want to live a lie. I want to be free. And if I can't be free then I'd rather be dead.

Sod the lot of them!
Rant over!

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