Thursday 1 March 2012

Since He Came Home

You may remember my post recently about my eldest boy going to stay with his dad in France for a while. I missed him terribly while he was gone, but he's been a pain since he got back last week. He has come back with a real attitude, in fact, last year when his sister went to stay with their dad for a month she came back with an attitude too. Well, I'm sorry I don't live in the South Of France near the beach, and I'm sorry our home is overcrowded and there are noisy small children around. And I'm sorry I don't cook at 9pm (blimey I'm ready for bed by then) but I have to feed the little ones and I'm not spending all night in the kitchen. All the years I brought them up on my own while their dad enjoyed his own life. All those years working so they could have the things they wanted, and giving up a job I loved because what they really needed was a mum at home, all the fighting with schools and authorities to get them the proper help they needed. All the worry, all the tears, all the sleepless nights. Then after a few weeks with their dad and suddenly I'm not good enough.
OH well, they are adults now, they can go if they are not happy! I'm sure they'd cope just fine without me.
I don't think big son has had  a conversation with me since he got back. He spends most of his time in his room, coming down only for food. He's even been taking his food upstairs because 'he hates eating with the girl's because they make so much mess' (believe me, he can make just as much mess himself, even now!)
Then last night he left the house around 10pm without telling me he was going out. I heard the door shut and had to check is room to discover him gone. He rarely goes out, and never goes anywhere without telling me first. Maybe he's trying to prove he can be independent? I know I can't treat him like a baby, but he really isn't safe to be out alone without me knowing. He was only gone for about 1/2 hour and when he came back he went straight upstairs without seeing anyone. I did go and ask him where he'd been but he told me he had been in his room all night.
Why on earth do we ever want to be parents?

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